I feel like I've been gone for ages, but thankfully that's not the case or is it? Anywho...
OMG you guys. I have news! Big news! It's the one month anniversary this Thursday! This Thursday! One month since Freddie and I officially became boyfriends.
At first, I didn't think it was a big deal. But let's just say that someone may have mentioned that he wanted to use the "L" word. The "L" word! You know me, I take the "L" word seriously. Perhaps a bit too seriously.
It's been taking up the major part of my working memory for the past couple of days. Am I ready? I'm leaning towards yes, but a part of me holds back. I don't know, am I scared? Am I just bad with expressing such deep emotions? Am I just being way too cautious? Am I stuck in some fantasy about saying the "L" word?
Psychological aside: Working memory refers to the memory that we use when performing our current actions such as with mental math, we use working memory to keep all the numbers in our minds as we perform operations on them. Our working memory capacity is 7 +/- 2 pieces of information. So one way to increase the efficiency of studying or learning is to group information into categories such as with mnemonics because it decreases the strain on working memory capacity and allows you more room to process additional information.
But I digress... when I think about telling Freddie how much I care about him and love him, I tear up, which I take as a good sign. But wow, a month. Wow. I guess I'm afraid that things will change if I tell him I love him. Perhaps, I should take the advice from The Sweetest Thing starring Cameron Dias and just be fearless, go for it, and accept the future and what it'll bring.
This brings me to the topic of what to do for the anniversary. I'm thinking a replay of our first date. Sushi, perhaps a movie, but most importantly a walk at the local track and field. I want to walk a few laps, stop him and then tell him. I don't want to over think it because I want it to be as sincere as possible. Gahhhh.... gahh... I say. I'm nervous. Nervous!
SG
Quotes & Quips - Gloria Gaither
2 hours ago
AHH don't be nervous! You've been through this more than once!
ReplyDeleteI know this is off topic, but it's so weird how I can tell you this! How long has it been since we've been blog buddies?
Any how, yeah I agree with the holding off part. I'm going to confess that the L word got out of hand with the last flame and it F***ed me over a bit with the thought process in terms of rational and irrational when it came to my emotions.
But it all depends on how strongly you feel for the guy, it seems like you feel really strong for him so do what you feel. It never hurt to feel this way and express it. But I'm right there with you when it comes to showing deep feelings. It's just hard.
Maybe you can do a little mumble experiment and say it all fast, and if he goes "WHAT?!" then just cough and say " oh it was nothing" hahah teenage stuff huh?
Things will turn out for the best. He's probably worried about the same thing.
I think it has been at least 2 years, lol, that's quite some time eh. Ole buddy ole pal. =p
ReplyDeleteI wrote it in a card and had him read it and when he looked up I said it again. Hehehe. It was good.
*hugs*