I had the feeling!

Quick quick quick update. So turns out HistoryGuy and I didn't click. We didn't converse very well and to be honest, there wasn't a "spark" there. I thought a spark would happen, but it didn't.

Seriously, oh my gosh though! There was a spark today! Of all days! I wasn't expecting there to be a spark (ok maybe a little), I thought I was just coming out to meet this great sounding guy (who writes very well by the way). But wow, we just hit it off!

Okay, so let me tell you more about him. He blogs! He freaken blogs! Are you kidding me, you can't make that stuff up. What else, he's very handsome, of course. Rugged good looks. I did not see that in my cards, honestly. Oh gosh. He's quirky and geeky like me too, in a very similar way. He says he says "me thinks". That's just so endearing to me. We both have a love of books and enjoy public transit most of time.

We share many life experiences (similar SES, both out, both have had awkward online dating experiences, similarities in personal boundaries, he's also a really considerate person too, I love that). His personality too. Spot on at the moment.

Sidenote: Same height. I know it doesn't seem like a big thing, but I'm usually taller or shorter than the people I meet. It's just nice to have someone be the same height.

I'm so drunk on happiness. It may sound cliche, but I didn't think I would be able to have this feeling again. But I'm experiencing it. Here and now.

More about the date. We talked about fun stuff like his views on politicians and books he was reading and psychology things from me of course. He mentioned Omega-3 in casual conversation. I'm lucky the pants didn't come off right then and there. Wait wait, I'm digressing. We planned to have coffee together but we drove around first. He drove. Did I mention that I can't drive on this blog yet? I'm not proud of it, but my motor coordination leaves much to be desired. We drove around looking for a coffee place and chatted during it drive. It was so lovely, seriously. We talked about things like femininity and masculinity, our past exes, what we are looking for and how we are looking for it, our feelings on the word love.

He drove us to the airport. So quiet and personal. Considerate thing, he mentioned that if I needed to pee, there was a washroom nearby he could take me too. And I did, and he drove me there and waited for me to finish. We talked for hours. We met up at 3.30pm (he got there early by the way, awesomeness), and our date/meeting ended at 7.00pm. It was the best time. He made just wonderful physical contacts with me. A nudge of the leg. A touch on the arm. Me touching his hand. And the night ended with a hug. One of the best hugs I've had to date. It was definitely filled with good feelings.

Anywho, I am going to try and enjoy this high as long as I can, because it's amazing and I miss this feeling. Date date to come soon. I think we are going to catch some dinner in two or four days time.

Ahhhhhh! My heart! I just can't believe what my heart is doing.

Yours truly,
SG

History Guy (formerly History Kid)

Ahhh, so excited to tell this one. So history guy and I met through the magic of OkCupid, it's like Grindr except it's less focused on hook ups and more focused on matching people based on answers to various questions. I came across his profile after broadening my search criteria. There it was. "HistoryGuy", with the default generic blue figure for those who didn't upload a profile picture. I was curious, so I clicked.

University student studying history, loves kids and wants to have them in the future, enjoys listening and cooking, and looking for a long-term relationship. Check, check and check. If only I could post his actual profile. It reads oh so well. I was sold. I sent him a simple message, "I read your profile and think you sound like a great guy. We should chat sometime." Soon after we started leaving each other messages through the OkCupid mailing system. The conversation flowed wonderfully smooth. We went from our shared liking of "Where the Red Fern Grows" to our love of animals to our actually having animals to our fields of study. It soon came to the point where we wanted an upgrade. HistoryGuy writes, "We should via MSN or Skype sometime, hell, maybe even meet in person. :)" I sent him my information and we were chatting on Live Messenger by the weekend.

I have to admit that he is probably one of the best conversational partners I have ever had. It was a blissful weekend of chatting about movies, music, food, hopes, dreams. I was giddy with excitement and taken by his writing. After many hours and even more smiling emoticons, meeting in person seemed to be inevitable. HistoryGuy writes, "Hmmmm... how would you feel about meeting in person." I was definitely up for it. After going through our schedules, it seemed like the next day seemed like the best option. Literally, about 13 hours after we had finished chatting. I was nervous.

What would he be like in person? What would he look like? What would he think of me? Was my profile picture too flattering? From his profile, all I knew was that he was about half a foot taller than I was. In my mind I imagined that I would only come up to about the level of his crotch and that he would occasionally tousle my hair with his massive shadowy hand, amused by my child like stature. I slept, eagerly awaiting the new day. I took a half day that day (which was actually yesterday Halloween), so we met for lunch at the local university eatery.

I walked in. No one matching the description was inside. All I saw was one person, who was no the right ethnicity and another who was clearly not the right age. Perhaps, I read the sign wrong, I thought. I went back outside to double-check and there he was, HistoryGuy in all his glory. Hahaha, I've always wanted to say that. I have to admit that he actually has the look and feel of a history teacher, which was interesting. We said our hellos and made our way in.

The restaurant was cozy, full of bright colours and wonderful aromas. We started off by chatting. I have to admit that it was a bit rough at first. It was like we needed to constantly talk and move onto new topics but it was a lot better when we decided to select some items from the menu. He got the soup and sandwich and I got the chili. The food was delicious. Although, I kind of expected that it would be, given that he was a bit of a foodie.

The pacing of the conversation became a bit better with only short moments of awkward silence, which I usually filled in with drinking water. He did say that he preferred having a conversation with me in person as opposed to online. It was nice. He was nice. I was getting a vibe from him. Perhaps, it was an "I like you vibe". There was so much to like about him. He collects antique books, he wants to see Wicked, he has an appreciation for psychology.

We soon finished our lunch and pondered what to do next. I suggested a walk and he happily obliged. We actually went and saw some parts of campus I had never seen before. It was a wonderful walk with wonderful conversation. Honestly, he's really quirky and adorable. I kind of wanted to jump on his back and ask for a piggyback or kiss him on the cheek to see how he would respond, but it's a bit too soon for that, so I refrained.

Time soon caught up with us and we needed to go our separate ways. The goodbye was awkward. We hugged and said we'd meet again. He said my name and I said his in our goodbye. I texted bestie the good news soon afterwards. He was excited for me.

Now the caveat of this wonderful day was that there were only passing moments of attraction, but maybe that was because we were meeting for the first time and because it wasn't technically a date. The odd thing is, I want it to become more. I think he could be the ideal partner for me. He's kind, warm, cute, intelligent and family oriented. I keep imagining what it would be like if everything worked out. With our children running around, us reading them bedtime stories, going to parent teacher conferences, the works. Oh and also the amazing intimacy we would share inside and outside of the bedroom. Cuddled up in a blanket together watching a movie, my head resting on his shoulder or his head resting on mine. Slow dancing together at the LGBT prom. Me laying on his bare belly on a Saturday morning as we talk just about anything. He relays a funny anecdote and we share a laugh. One could easily say that I'm projecting all of my wants and needs onto HistoryGuy and I would probably agree with you on some level.

But I like him all the same. I hope things turn out well with this one. I will try to take things as slow as possible. Slow and steady wins the race, in this case, I suppose it will be the guy, the history guy.

Lots of love,
SG

Jacob: No Moon

Guess who met up with both Jacob on the weekend? It was a train wreck, see below for more details.

Okay, Jacob and I met this past Sunday.

Texts from the morning....
Jacob: "Do you wanna watch a movie at my place?"
SG: "Aren't we going to watch a movie later today?" (we had planned on meeting at 3:00pm at the theatre)
Jacob: "We can stay at my place for a while then go later."
SG: "Sorry but I don't go to guys houses without meeting them in person first. We can catch the 1:00pm showing instead if that works better"
Jacob: "Sure, I'm going to hop in the shower and I'll meet you there"

Since I had work that morning, I just hopped on the train and headed straight to the theatre instead of heading home. I grabbed a quick bite of tuna sushi and got to the theatre at exactly 1:00pm. He came up the escalator and we met.

The first thing I noticed was that he had big hands. Very manly. The second thing I noticed was that he didn't talk much. *cue some dead silence*

We started with some simple staples of conversation, "how was your day", "what other movies have you seen", "do you want to watch the digital or 3D version of Puss in Boots?" (We watched the 3D) and we finished with more simple staples of conversation, "are you a fan of frozen yogurt", "would you like some popcorn?"

He tended to give monotone, one word answers and left very little room for follow-up questions. Needless to say, it wasn't the rollercoaster of fun that I was looking for. The highlight of the evening was when something surprising happened in the movie and he jumped from out of his seat and sent some popcorn flying into the faces of our neighbours.

To top off the evening, he would occasionally check his Grindr, an iPhone application for friends, dating and hooking up (but from my experience, it's more hooking up than friends and dating). I know it was petty, but I just started texting my bestie to make post-terrible-date plans afterwards.

After the movie, Jacob opens his mouth and says, "I've got to go downtown after this to meet up with a friend." Now remember that we had decided to catch a movie that was 2 hours earlier. I replied with a simple, "That's fine. It was nice to meet you." And we parted ways.

Luckily, bestie was at a local Starbucks at the time, so I grabbed a green tea and we caught up.

So that was Jacob, ohh, but stay tuned for History Guy, he was pretty much the opposite of Jacob.

Much love,
SG

Life Update 2011

Hey everyone!

It's been such a long time since we last talked, so let me give you an update on my life so far. I do have more time now that I'm ... ... bum bum bum ... single.

I've accepted another job as an administrative assistant to a very important person. The work is challenging and I feel like I never have enough time, but the people are amazing and I feel like they are actually trying to make a difference in the world. As a result, I could see myself staying until I can no longer handle the workload.

Research has also picked up. We are nearing the end of our data collection and now it's all about completing the last conditions, which is like torture some days, but c'est la vie. I've been reading up on analysis of variance or ANOVA in preparation for the data analysis. I'll also be applying to graduate school 2 years from now. Boy does that sound like a long time. But I will actually need to start applying in a year and half and there is a long process involved in that, so I think I gave myself enough time.

I've also been working out a bit more consistently these days. Every other day an hour of weightlifting and cardio. I'm noticing a bit of a change actually. I was drying myself after a shower recently and my pec flexed. Firstly, I was surprised I had grown at least some pecs and then it actually noticeably moved. I was very satisfied to say the least.

On to the meatier news though, my life post-breakup. I have to admit that I have had my ups and downs this past month, but I'm surviving. I think I am getting used to the fact that it's just me on my own, not that I don't appreciate the time with family, it's just not the same as having a partner/boyfriend/significant other. I feel like I'm monopolizing all of the besties time though. Luckily, by coincidence, they have time to kill or errands that they need help with, so it's all time well spent.

I'm surprised at how clean this breakup has been for me emotionally. I feel like that chapter of my life is over and that I won't return to it. I have no regrets. I did my best and I'm satisfied with how things played out. Although I don't know if we can be friends after all of this, it's just too complicated. Didn't it take me about 5 years to even start talking with my first ex again? I just can't switch from the completely selfless partner mindset to a just friends mindset. It would unsettle me.

On to the wonderful world of dating! I'm definitely more aggressive than I was before and it has been pretty interesting. Let me give you a short summary of the guys I have met and am planning to meet so far. Mostly, it is just chatting right now, but hopefully one of them will grow into something more.

In order of who I have met. Nicknames summarizing each guy provided (I don't mean to insult anyone, it's just a lot easier to keep track of each guy if you have a handy label that summarizes who they are).

(Kid denotes younger aged guys)

1. Gameshow kid. He went to my high school and also did the same trivia gameshow that I did when I was in high school. I have to admit I thought this guy was very promising. The content of what he says implies that he is an altruistic and highly intelligent person versed in politics, general knowledge and science. However, his nonverbal behavior (in particular the way he speaks) is quite cold, uninterested and a bit pessimistic. And he has a disdain for research! *gasp*

We met in person for coffee at Starbucks downtown. It was quite nice. We chatted about our life, what high school was like and played a game of choices (given the choice of A or B, both bad choices, which one would we settle with). I have to admit I had some feelings for him. Although upon further analysis with the help of my male bestie, it seems like I may have been taken by his good looks and his tall stature rather than him as a person. A classic case of misattributing arousal for liking. (Or a classic case of him not demonstrating a liking for me and therefore I backed away).

2. McDonalds kid. He's decent and he seems interested in me. He works a full-time shift that tends to be graveyards though, so I'm not too sure if scheduling will work in this relationship's favor. We have rescheduled twice after initially planning to meet 2 weeks ago. So it doesn't look promising. I feel like I can't get a good impression of him until we meet, so stay tuned about this one.

3. "Jacob". I found a guy who looks like Jacob from the Twilight series. Okay, I have to admit that I'm not a fanatical Twilight fan, but come on, Jacob is uber hot regardless of what show he is in. We have been chatting back and forth and a movie "date" is tentatively in the works. He wants to see Puss in Boots which is a big plus in my boots (hahaha, too corny?). I called him adorable for suggesting the movie and of course said that I would be up for it too. After a few weeks of chatting, I got his number! I'm doing it guys! I'm succeeding at this pursuing guys thing.

4. "History kid". We just started talking today. He's a history major from my university and he is looking to become a secondary school teacher. He loves animals and we share a favourite childhood book. He also loves children. He sounds very very good. The only downside is that he doesn't have a profile picture, so I can't really confirm his identity. He could be any person creating a false persona. Although we have been writing short notes to each other throughout the day which I really enjoy.

I'm really enjoying the variety of guys and the different styles of interaction they all have. It's very enlightening and the socializing makes me feel great. Although my free time has been eliminated to about nothing. It's worth it though, I feel like this is what I've been missing. On the search for Mr. Right.

Interesting sidenotes: 2 of the guys are filipino, all of the guys are taller than I am (which I guess means I'm really short), and all of the guys are out to their family.

That's all for today! I wonder how my readership is doing after my extended hiatus. Thanks guys and gals!

Yours truly,
SG

We broke up...

Yup, we did.

SG